Awards & Blessings

It was bound to happen sooner or later...I have been bogged down and of course, am now feeling the anxiety for being bogged down and not posting...

So I must go back to the essence of Ho'oponopono and say to myself: "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." There. I breathe it in. I believe it. I exhale. That's much better.

I want to acknowledge the individuals who have given me some amazing awards recently. I feel like Sally Fields who, when accepting her second Oscar 1985, said,
"...and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!"

It's a combination of pleasure and disbelief and gratitude.

I am honored and touched to receive the Be The Blog Award. It was given to me by my good friend, Speedcat Hollydale .

This is what he said: "I would like to give this award to "one" person that is a light shining so bright. Robin Lee Sardini sends a message of hope and love to everyone, and her passion for spreading the Lord's message across the blogosphere is commendable. This lady cares about people, and is a special friend to me." This brought tears to my eyes.


Mark from Me And My Drum is the creator of this great new blog badge. Mark said, "This badge is for bloggers who make their blog their own, stay with it, interact with their readers, and have fun!"
Since I was over there to accept my badge Mark has added another color, Purple Passion.
And so it is with great joy that I pass this award on to Jennifer over at Goodness Graciousness , Christy over at Christy's Coffee Break ,
Simone at Outfit Inspirations , AC at A Circle of Women , Mimi over at Mimi Writes , Polli at Polliwog's Pond , and WaterLearner who writes Journey with Water Learner and Life's Prisms .
You may all stop on by Mark's blog and pick up your new award!

The next surprise I received was an award from Brad Blogbee who co-authors with Polli over at Polliwog's Pond . It's called The Good Buzzz Blog Award and according to Brad it's "for blogs that have generated a happy hum in the blogosphere". Thank you Brad!

And then to add whip cream on top of this ginormous bowl of chocolate fudge ice cream, I received an award that Colin created over at Life called Best Blogging Buddies Award for Global Communities. I am honored to receive this award, too. I have to pass this award on to Bobby at Revellian Dot Com , Mimi at Mimi Writes , and Speedcat Hollydale at Speedcat Hollydale Page. Head on over to Colin's blog and pick up your new award! Congratulations!

You have given me many new blessings to count!

blessings
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Answers Will Come

Answers Will Come

There are times in this life when we really don't understand why things happen.

We wonder why this happened now,

why this happened to me,

why this happened at all .

I don't like the feeling that I don't know why. It's a squirming, twisting kind of thing. It is very uncomfortable and sometimes even painful.

Answers to questions like these are funny things. Answers answer to no man (or woman). They come on their own terms, when they are ready.

It is better for me to shift my focus when I start to feel the squirming. Knowing what I do about how answers work, it is best for me to release my need to know for the time being. I open my heart and mind, I open my mouth in prayer and simply let go of that control. It is in God's hands.
The answers, the outcome...all of it.

There are more productive things I can do in the meantime. Waiting is extremely hard for most of us, but filling that waiting period with meaningful things and thoughts and people can certainly ease the discomfort.

It means stepping out of my own head for a moment..sometimes it's only possible to do that for brief periods of time. For example, in the case of grief, it is important to be with the feeling in order to process it completely. We can't ignore it or it goes underground only to surface later on in the form of depression or some kind of illness. However, we are allowed, even encouraged, to take a break and step out of ourselves briefly to see something good in this day, something beautiful in the people around us, some project or activity or holiday we can look forward to. And there are cases when we can see that another person's pain is deeper than our own so we are able to offer comfort to them.

Waiting is a time for reflection, recovery and growth. Answers will come. All in good time.

Sometimes it is not as important to know why or to know when as to know who.
When things happen to us, the who is always us.

Though I have no control over what others think, feel, say or do I am the one who can choose how I will react to what happens. I am the who. (No, not Dr. Seuss' "Who" ;-) I will shift my focus and ask myself, "What's good about this? What could be good about this? What can I do differently as a result of this? In what ways will I be a stronger, better (you insert the adjective here) person in spite of this?"

These are the kind of questions that produce helpful and, very often, quick answers. Like Mimi's Peace Globes congregating outside her door, you'll have answers lining up to reveal themselves to you. A brainstorm of answers.

I promise, the answers will come, whether it's instantly or down the road.
The answers are on their way.
Rest...assured.

A Dangerous Game

A Dangerous Game

There isn't anyone I know who wouldn't take a cry for help at face value.
Some are caught off guard by it.
Others shy away from the intensity,
but it's something that isn't going to go away.

My doctor once told me that depressive, suicidal feelings are really "anger turned inward", anger about something else that is directed at your self. And where does anger come from? A counselor (at the rehab center where a loved one once stayed) told me that anger is another emotion or combination of emotions in disguise, unexpressed emotions, specifically four: fear, hurt, shame, and/or guilt.

Anger is a dangerous game. I say "game" because it fools us and others around us. It isn't what it appears to be. One has to look deep beneath the surface and sometimes even then, it takes years to uncover, layer by layer, all that makes up the anger. It seethes and generates deadly body chemistry. It can take the form of homicide or suicide if it is not evaluated and defused.

AC entered a great post on Depression over at A Circle of Women that speaks to both women and men, young or not so young.

This is not meant to be offensive but to give the reader a sneak peek into the mindset, a "cynical, in your face" kind of commentary on a suicide blaming a lost love...
I DO NOT advocate suicide. Suicide is NOT an option anymore for me (yeah, it once was) but here's something I wrote today that I would have written back then:

~Evidence~

When the red ceases flowing
And my brain turns blue
The doctor will find
All the remnants of you.
You entered me slowly
And stole what you could.
You left me with nothing,
Or nothing so good
I finished my breathing
With you on my mind,
So surely the doctor
Will know what to find
He’ll see all my feelings,
Which should be a clue.
The evidence will lead
Him right back to you.
He’s laid me wide open ~
A coroner’s art.
And now he is holding
What once was my heart.
If ever there was
A great mystery here,
It’s solved now that he
Has exposed you, my Dear.

(c) Nov 2007
~ Robin Lee Sardini


Get help if you need it. It generally doesn't just go away on its own. It's depression's distortion of thought and emotion that will cause you to withdraw or act out. Make a pact for safety right now. Then get on the phone and reach out for help. There will be a voice and a hand reaching back.

You are loved and needed just as you are right now! Consider yourself hugged, but get to that phone.

My Heart is Breaking Today

My Heart is Breaking Tdoay

My heart is breaking today...
A friend is in need and there's nothing I can do in the physical realm to help him!

I can't not write about this. This can't be overlooked.

Bobby is a fellow blogger and a member of "The Spirit Knows Best" community at MyBlogLog.

He wrote Dying From a Broken Heart just hours ago on his own blog.

The song by George Winston entitled "Longing Love" captures some of the emotion I feel right now. The music is hauntingly beautiful but sad...



I pray he may find healing in the love and support of this community and so many others in our blogosphere.

Dear Bobby,
I have been where you are My Friend. It is the loneliest place that you NEVER want to be. I would hug you if I could be there. The human connection, the human touch was the only thing that kept me anchored in this life when I didn't want to be here. Let those of us who know you, love you. You will be well again. Right now it looks so bleak and feels like death. That's the depression creating those feelings. I urge you to talk to your doctor if you haven't already. It takes some time before those neurotransmitters can come back into balance with the proper help, so the sooner you get help the better. I know you know that. So many of us are extremely worried about you, Bobby. I know it's the worst thing in the world not to want to be here anymore, but please, DEAR ONE, do NOT do anything to hurt yourself. Call a hotline, call two. Talk to someone, anyone, and just keep talking. Don't give up, man! We need you here, Bobby! Listen..you've had the courage to write this to us..we hear you loud and clear. I speak for all of us who care so very much..please, we urge you, please take good care of YOU. You deserve the very best life and it's not over yet, Bobby! No, it's not. I know it may feel like that right now, but you have to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and realize that's the depression, the all-consuming depression. If you can't talk to your doctor personally today then go to an ER. I would drive you there myself, as would any of us, if that were possible. If you can't do it for yourself, call 911. Nope, I'm not overreacting. I hear the desperation in this post. Just do it, Bobby! You are soooooooo worth it! So very worth it! You deserve to be well again..please take the next step to get there.

Much Love from our deepest heart and soul,

Robin and all your Friends at MyBlogLog and Santa's community

Another friend CotoJo (Colin)from MyBlogLog writes to Bobby (reprinted by permission):

"Hey Bobby, I can relate to much of what you have written.....but I won't bore you with the details, but I will say that it all comes right in its own time, but in between it is hard. Even us guys have feelings and I'm not afraid to say that some things make me cry, sad, depressed. I too live alone, wake alone and spend most of my time on my own. My blogging friends online are absolutely the finest people one could meet, friends offline are few and far between, but they are the people I would trust with my life. Take your time, take time to get out and do something different and also follow what Robin has said, and remember there are many blogger friends who are praying for you right now, and if we could lift your spirits then we would shift heaven and hell to help.....that's why we are here. God Bless you Bobby, take care and get back to us when you are ready...from all your blogging buddies"

As we continue to keep him in our prayers we can send him some love here on his MyBlogLog profile.

Thank you.

Dona Nobis Pacem

Dona Nobis Pacem

Today I am honored join bloggers everywhere in a Blogblast for Peace. I invite you to read the touching story behind the Peace Globe Movement at Mimi's blog.

Peace means many different things to different people. To think of it in global terms can feel overwhelming. So, it's important to think of it as something personal, something that is part of how we live, think, and are, something relevant to us right here wherever we are, right now in this moment.

Take this time to reflect upon peace and bring from somewhere out there, to the place inside where it can live and breathe within us. Whatever we think about, expands. And so today as we read the words of bloggers for Peace we are expanding peace, not only in our own lives but in the world.

For some people, peace is the absence of strife and violence. For others, peace is simply quietude. Whatever peace is for you, let it be. The Spirit infuses us with peace as we connect in spirit. Peace strikes a resonant chord deep within our hearts. It moves us to a higher mindset.

Peace weaves itself into the fiber of the most profound ideas, solutions and dreams we will ever manifest. It expands our vision and allows us to see the vast difference we've made in the world around us and the message we've yet to convey.

It embraces our purpose and journeys with us through vital life-changing events. It makes its mark on each of our lives in its own unique way so that as messengers and conduits of peace we are able to speak to all those who have ears to hear.

In spite of trials and loss, peace moves us forward. It is noble and strong.

When you have a moment today meditate on peace...

Peace.

Dona Nobis Pacem
Peace Globe
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